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#Unkommentiert 2

The Nightmare

I slammed into the floor
after I dropped and fell
Never had i seen so much gore
although I went through hell

And I woke up the other day
finding me in bed
not knowing what to say
many questions running through my head
my life kept on being on replay
I could not say
what's on my mind
it would have been so kind.
but i have never been a mastermind
And left everything behind
closed the doors to my mind
but it came back up - poorly timed.

And now I'm sittin' here with this mess
trying to understand what brought access
to what was thought to be contained
but now actually regained
the power over me
to be able to throw me
into the sea
of emotions
without notions
of what was going on
and what was happenin' to me

And gradually I see
how the mist just got clear
and revealed 
my deepest fear
That I could not make it home
where it was safe
and I get thrown
back into the cave
that I was hiding in
and a wave came over me
breaking my neck and my knee
stopping me from getting up
and to bring the awaited cut
to what was actually nothing scary
but nothing else than a temporary
and really shocking momentary 
dream that i believed was finally 
over, but in reality
the nights after that
i dreamed it again
And it never left me

On my last night here on Earth
it vanished finally
and i knew that it was over
just a very small exposure
to what could have been my life
a car, a house, a happy wife
but i couldn't pay the prize
and the soul in me cries
because I aimed for the skies
and ended up destabilized
not able to shout or vocalize
of meeting the man with the disguise
the force that everyone always fights
the man who decides to throw the dice
on when you're gonna be the sacrifice.

Dark was my life
and so is death
gonna meet him in the afterlife
when I'll be free of pain
and got out of the insane
which you called a living
but i didn't find that fitting
I really was commiting
but in the end I was just hitting
the inside of my coffin
ready to be put into the oven
to bring me to eternal silence
and where my suffering finally ends.




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