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#Unkommentiert 17 "New Feelings"

Wishes
---------------------------------
for the last twenty-one years,
the greatest of my fears,
became to die alone,
with no one to call home.

They all say,
she will come one day,

and I say,
there is just no way.

because for all I know,
there is no snow on the sea,
and with that same chance,
no one will love me.

this time it was distance,
while my heart streamed out so loud,
maybe she just missed it,
Why am I not allowed?

to finally find my soulmate,
with whom distance's just a word,
who will stay up late,
and make jokes that are absurd?

Next time it's something different,
and the one after that as well,
I'm running in circles,
spiraling down a well.

And there at the bottom,
space and time just stops,
a dream glows up
and fills me up with glee.

It's no silent wish,
I shout it with full lungs!
That I want to feel,
someones love.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

blue thoughts
---------------------------------------
if there are clouds on your mind,
if you feel like nothing's right,
if you think only blue thoughts,
and all your rights could just make wrongs.

When the sky seems to fall down,
when your smile left for a frown,
while your mind is playing hell,
and you feel just quite unwell.

That is when you need to know,
that I think you're a miracle,
and I'd like to be there all the time,
to help you, so that you feel fine.

Just having you inside my arms,
quietly, so it maybe calms,
your head and heart and mind and soul,
because I think you are just wonderful.

And if that's not your thing, that's fine,
or if it doesn't work, alright,
but I, atleast, would like to try,
cause I don't want to say goodbye.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's always the same
---------------------------------------------------------
it took me twenty-one years to find one,
one who liked me more,
more than just the average.
And of course I didn't make the cut,
there's always been that little word.

"... but you are a real' good friend."
"... but you mean a lot to me."
"... but I don't feel the way you do."
"... but you're to far away for me."

And my answers, well they were all kinda similar,

"No problem, let's stay friends, let nothing change."
"No problem, I'm happy that you feel that way."
"No problem, I expected that."
"No problem and, well, I hope you'll find someone closer than me."

For every moment I'm alive out here, I grow stronger in my belief,
that my only purpose here on this earth is to be a friend to all.
So many things were said to me, 
So many tears went down my face,
in trying to ease the pain.

So many thoughts grew dark of pain,
So many lights became quite dim,
So many times I lost the hope, and than I picked it up again,
because without it, well, maybe I would try...
to end it - I hope someone will join me
on my lonely quest called life,
for I need just some companionship,
and to shine light into my dark.

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